How to TRANSITION your Relationships

women of color

As we walk out personal growth for the VISION in our lives we must learn how to TRANSITION in our relationships.  Every friendship or mentor/mentee relationship is not meant to be forever and some relationships move in and out of season.  When you do not know how to TRANSITION in your relationships you tend to either walk away without explanation or over stay. 

TRANSITIONING is an important aspect of accomplishing personal growth for PURPOSE in your life.  When you TRANSITION you are saying that one level is complete and you are ready for the next step. Esther is a good example of TRANSITION.  She began her destiny walk with Mordecai.  He taught her about her heritage and faith.  He also led her towards her next level for her destiny. Mordecai was no longer her MAIN teacher once she got to the palace.  The Eunuch became her teacher regarding her “New Level”.  Her relationship with Mordecai TRANSITIONED and he became someone she could “consult” with concerning what he had “TAUGHT” her. 

In order for Esther to become Queen she needed different RELATIONSHIPS.  If she did not TRANSITION she would have been like the other women and became a concubine in the house of the King.  Her relationship with Mordecai wasn’t over, but it held another purpose.  When she needed consultation regarding that PURPOSE, he was able to speak into her life regarding her PURPOSE for being in the Kingdom. When you know PURPOSE you can TRANSITION well.  When you are unclear it is hard to know how to make plans and who is suppose to be in your life or help you carry them out.

923066_10201383012485931_1434707190_nIn order for you to grow in understanding of your personal growth, purpose and Identity, you are allowing me into your life to coach and mentor you.  Why?  because I have the wisdom and knowledge to teach and train you regarding the subject matter.  Esther needed to know HOW to be a Queen. She needed to understand what it meant to be the King’s wife along with all it’s RESPONSIBILITIES.  Mordecai could not teach her that information.  She had to allow the Eunuch to mentor her. He was the one knowledgeable of that subject matter.  You must put yourself in positions to grow into WHO God is calling you to be.  You must surround yourself with people who will help you reach that goal.  Otherwise, you will be stuck, desiring to move forward and not having what you need to do so.

 POINTS TO PONDER

1.  WHERE ARE YOU GOING.  In order to know who to learn from you need to know where you are going.  What is the PURPOSE?  Until you answer that question you will not walk in CLARITY and CONFIDENCE regarding HOW to get there.  You won’t know what direction to take and you will be apprehensive about your choices.

2.  WHO KNOWS WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.  God puts people in our lives when it is time to TRANSITION.  Again, without clear direction you will not see the door.  God ALWAYS sends people in our lives for our next level.  He will never leave you hanging.  EVERYONE needs a Coach and Mentor in their life to help them gain the knowledge that they need.  WHO is your Mentor or Coach?  WHO are the PEOPLE you need to surround yourself with at this season?  I didn’t say you couldn’t have friends.  I didn’t say don’t go to church. I said WHO do you need to surround yourself with in this season, so you can walk in PURPOSE.

3.  THERE WILL BE A DOORWhen it is time to TRANSITION there will be a door.  Don’t procrastinate.  You will have the words needed for the TRANSITION.  You can not be scared.  You also must be careful not to put other people BEFORE the PLANS of God in your life.  You can be trying so hard not to hurt people’s feelings, that you MISS your door and the people in place to speak to you regarding your next level.  Sometimes when you take too long you alter the timing. There could be another reason for that relationship and because you are scared, you are holding up your growth and purpose.  You could loose the door and the relationship you were trying so hard to keep.

4. DON’T just walk away without TRANSITIONING.I have seen a lot of people HIDE from the responsibility of TRANSITION.  Instead of talking to the people they are TRANSITIONING from, they just walk away without out speaking to them about it.  When you do this (you are saying with you actions) you are acting unsure and insecure about what you hear.  TRANSITION has BLESSINGS attached to it.  You can not receive the blessings without TRANSITIONING correctly.  In the attempt to AVOID the conversation… you end up loosing the relationship because you are unable (now) to talk to them because you didn’t handle the TRANSITION well.  When you TRANSITION you are STEPPING out in FAITH.  You are CLOSING one door and OPENING another.  You are saying to God I trust you.

5. YOUR FRIENDSHIPS MATTER Your casual relationships are important.  These people speak into your life when your guard is down.  They are the people you consult on a daily basis regarding life, relationships and circumstances.  If they do not line up with your “growth plans”  for purpose, you can be “led” away from it instead of towards it.  Don’t take your casual life relationships lightly.

It all begin with healing and releasing the past, so you can see clearly the path that purpose is calling you to take with your life. You must be open to PURPOSE so you will be clear on your direction and can lay the PLAN to reach the PURPOSE. TRANSITION well in your relationships, so you can move forward in INTEGRITY.

AFFIRMATION

I TRANSITION well.  I  move forward in the plans and purposes for my life.  My you ears, eyes and understanding are open and available to truth and wisdom.  My steps are ordered.

Why do I need Personal Development?

Slide14Someone was asking me about what IN PURSUIT OF ME! Personal Development Program was all about.  I told her it was for women on the journey of self discovery and personal growth, who want to walk in their purpose and full potential by becoming their best selves.  These women desire to develop their unique individuality (authentic self) designed by God.  They understand that their uniqueness is designed to impact every area of their life and the different roles and responsibilities they walk out on a daily basis.  

She asked, “Why do I need personal development if I have faith?” I said, “Personal Development is a Journey.  It BEGINS with faith/belief, but then we must take responsibility to apply our faith/belief to become self aware, gain knowledge, grow and improve the skills necessary to fulfill purpose and BE our Best Selves.   Faith/beliefs under girds that journey. It is up to us to take responsibility and walk it out in our “daily lives”.  

I explained that Personal Development was “PURPOSEFUL PURSUIT of PERSONAL Slide16GROWTH for the fulfillment of Purpose”.  EACH OF US taking the personal responsibility for the “application” of faith/beliefs in our daily lives.  It is the “HOW TO” or the application of our beliefs for our development not just for spiritual growth and development but spirit, soul and body.  All must be actively working together in order for us to fulfill our purpose and reach our full potential.  So the purpose of personal development is taping into and DEVELOPING the “greatness” that God put on the inside of us, so we can accomplish all he has destined for our lives.  God “expects” us to invest, grow, develop, use and become our best” with what he has put in us so He is ultimately glorified in our lives.  Many understand and desire to accomplish what they are destined and purposed, but don’t know how.

Personal Development, Self Discovery, Personal Growth, Personal Achievement, Personal Success and Personal Improvement in the different areas of our lives doesn’t just happen.  It is a process that covers our mental, spiritual, social, character, behavioral, relational, physical, financial, and emotional selves.  When we understand that God told us to “choose life and live”, “treat our bodies as temples” or “renew our minds”, he was giving US the RESPONSIBILITY to “apply and develop” ourselves for purpose through the principles, wisdom, pillars, laws and knowledge set forth for us.  Many are taught that GOD will do everything for them, never realizing that there is a part they play in the equation.  As Miles Monroe states, “the graveyards are FULL of unrealized and untapped potential.”

God created us to be “response – able” to what he has put on the inside of us.  We CAN respond and he has made us able.  We DON’T have to be left searching for purpose and meaning in our lives.  We are able to live IN PURPOSE and BECOME our Best Selves, which is necessary to “release” the gifts, talents, abilities, destiny, purpose and full potential that resides on the inside.  Personal Development gives the “how to” in order to walk in purpose and release full potential. I told her, “Many are growing spiritually, but go unfulfilled and it doesn’t have to be that way.   So we all NEED Personal Development.

Personal Development is

1. Purposeful Pursuit: You are intentionally developing who you need to “become” to fulfill your purpose and develop your full potential

2. Personal Growth: You are developing yourself spirit, soul and body for the development of your full potential for Purpose.

3. Discovery: You discover your unique individuality, gifts, talents, abilities, potential

4. Expansion:  You become self aware, gain knowledge and develop your personal skills

5. Refining:  You learn your beliefs, values, responsibilities and truth and how this applies to your growth and purpose.

6. Holistic:  You are looking at every area of your life and developing yourself spiritually, socially, emotionally, mentally, physically, relationally, financially and applying it to the different roles and responsibilities you impact on a daily basis.

7. PURPOSE driven: It helps you discover and develop yourself for the fulfillment of your purpose and equips you to be successful at whatever endeavors you connect to in relationship to your purpose.

8. GOAL focused: You learn how to develop and reach your goals which leads to the fulfillment of purpose and potential.

9. Glorifying God: You are pursuing the development of what God has put in you from the foundations of the world.  You are honoring him by becoming your Best Self because it releases purpose and increase into your life

Getting my HAPPY Back.

602001_10200252492692306_1650912002_nThe core of our humanity is that we are purpose driven or life action oriented. We desire to progressively move forward in our lives.  We experience “fulfillment” when we are progressing.  The feeling attached to this is happiness.  Being happy is circumstantial and attached to our “view” of how we are doing and what is going on in our lives.   It is attached to “our” ability to engage, control and experience forward movement towards our goal or purpose.

Happiness and Joy are not the same thing. Joy is rooted in our relationship with God and our confidence in that relationship.  It is an expression of our firm inner stance and trust in God and our truth irregardless of what we are going through in our lives.  We are “secure” that our circumstances are not a “true” reflection of our inner condition or knowing that our circumstances will change.  Even when you have joy, you can experience happiness or unhappiness in your daily life.

How do I get my Happy Back?

1.  DEVELOP GOALS/LIFE ACTIONS Decide what is important to you and create goals/ life actions to obtain it.  We are created to progress.  When we feel stagnant it effects us emotionally, spiritually, socially and physically. Incorporate opportunities in your life that is  moving you forward. 

2.  SIMPLE IS BEST You need to set “attainable” SIMPLE goals/life actions. Don’t make it complicated.  When it is complicated it makes it hard to see “how” to reach the goal/life action.  It becomes easy to get discouraged and we are more likely not to go after it. Wake up each morning and declare, “This is going to be a great day!”  Thank God each morning for life, health and strength.  These are great life actions/goals that reaffirms your ability to mold your day.

3. MAKE IT CLEAR When you are clear you also understand challenges will come.  You are able to deal with those challenges and stay on target.

3.  DEVELOP A PLAN/ROUTINE It isn’t enough to say you want to do something.  You need to develop a step by step plan/routine to obtain them.  When we have goals/life actions without a plan/routine, we can’t see the progress. It makes it hard to know what we need to change to improve on our process.

We can “live” happy.  We have the ability to activate a progressive mindset and support it with our actions.  Move your life from just “existing” to “purposeful” living.  When we are purposeful we feel fulfilled.

IN PURSUIT OF ME Tele-Class

ORANGE PURSUITIN PURSUIT OF ME! TELE-CLASS

Friday, September 13th, 2013 | 7:00 pm – 8:00 pm (EST)

Reserve your Spot (click link)

 https://inpursuitofme.eventbrite.com

FALL is a time of “transition”. Children go back to school and the year is coming to an end. We begin to analyze our lives and feel a “rush” to get it together.

It is so easy to get lost in the chaos. IT’S NEVER TO LATE TO BEGIN! That’s why I’m offering a tele-class this fall just for YOU! I want you empowered to help you remember that YOU are important too!

  •  Learn to break limiting beliefs that keep you from moving forward towards your goals.
  •  How to create a shift in your mindset, behavior and actions, so they work together for you.
  • How to maintain peace of mind in your difficult circumstances
  • The importance of BECOMING your Best Self in order to fulfill your PURPOSE and Destiny.

Personal Growth & Self Discovery EQUIPS you to BECOME who you NEED to be for Success (personally, socially, emotionally, relationally and in business) and to LIVE in the confident fullness of your PURPOSE. You develop the mindset, skills, discipline, healing and direction you need to move forward.

 *The Call In Number and Code will be forwarded to your email. 

 

DON’T ASSUME

assumeDon’t ASSUME. ASSUMPTION is just like GAMBLING. You are GUESSING about what COULD happen, what you “think” someone did, or why you “think” someone did something. You have NO real PROOF of its VALIDITY. You base it on Gossip, PAST information and you are making a DECISION about a CURRENT issue on INVALIDATED KNOWLEDGE. That can be DANGEROUS!

DISCOVERY SESSION/INTEREST MEETING for IN PURSUIT OF ME! Fall Session

FALLSESSION

If you want to learn more about the IN PURSUIT OF ME! Coaching and Personal Development Program, please come out Monday, August 5th.  We would love to see you. The Fall Session begins in September. We can only accept a certain number of students. Please come out and learn more.  Let us know you are coming.  Send us a email at info@liftingupthestandard.org.

When You Align Yourself to PURPOSE.

liveonpurpose

When you Align with the Message your life is suppose to speak and you develop yourself  you ACTIVATE the CALL and BLESSINGS attached to it. You ELEVATE your LIFE and PURPOSE.  You strategically and purposefully position yourself to IMPACT the lives of those you are called to influence with your life.  You are now POSITIONED to HONOR GOD with YOUR LIFE and fulfill the PLANS he has for you.  What a AWESOME season you are about to embark on!

How to Deal with Conflict!

60691_525616094120949_1208944109_nYou must FIRST be settled in HOW you will deal with the situations you face in life.  You must be RESOLVED.  I love the word RESOLVED.  It mean that you are settled.  It also means that you have made up your mind HOW you will deal with the situations you face. You are not controlled by the actions of others or circumstances because you have made up your mind regarding the CORE ESSENCE of your PRINCIPLES which dictates your ACTIONS irregardless of circumstances.

You must make up your mind that people’s actions towards you will not cause you to act differently than you choose.  The word endure means to hold out; sustain without impairment or yielding; to bear without resistance. You literally must pull yourself out of the scenario. You must allow yourself to see the person’s actions as a manifestation of their belief system.  You are getting a glimpse into who they really are.  Their words, mannerisms, emotions and actions become a testimony to how they were shaped and molded to deal with circumstances in their life.

We all have been provoked, injured or troubled.  You need to make a choice, to stand your ground based on your truth.  Because we “do things God’s way” we understand that we are in control of ourselves.  You are making a stand.  The word tells us to stand anyhow.  To have ourselves girded with the truth of the word.

POWER POINTS

1. DON’T DO IT  Don’t allow yourself to yield your standards because someone has issues.  Whether you are in the car, the grocery store, school or neighborhood, allow the word to set your standard and don’t move out of your position of peace and confidence in God’s word.

2. VICTORY COMES IN DIFFERENT FORMS  Remember victory isn’t just about winning the argument or getting people to do what you want.  It is mainly about being obedient to truth and watching God honor his word in your life.

3. YOU ALWAYS WIN  Don’t be deceived into believing you have lost because someone cursed at you or gave you the finger.  Don’t act accordingly because you are more than that and represent something greater.

4. WE REPRESENT  Your victory is in honoring God with your life and he being seen through your actions.

4 Ways to Stay Focused

finishFocus and Consistency are the Keys to Victory.  We must “actively” hold on to our choices and let nothing move you out of your decision. SOME THINGS TO DO.

1. WRITE IT What do you want in your situation(s)? Write it down. It WILL help you focus and plan out your steps one at a time.

 2. WHAT’S THE FOUNDATION Find a scripture, wisdom or principle to stand on that speaks to your situation. It will increase your “faith”.  Faith is what makes hope work. Hope is expectation of what you are looking to manifest in your situation.
3. FOCUS Stay focused, surround yourself with things that edify your destination (tapes, scripture, people, music).

4. SPEAK Consistently speak truth and positive words in and over your circumstance.We can not always control what comes at us, but we can control what we do with it!

 

3 Things You Need to Know to Help You Find a Mentor or Coach

922728_10200971514641026_320268843_nWe must learn to receive from one another. Mentors & Coaches understand the importance of this type of relationship.  Paul was a mentor and coach to many men and women who were “called” throughout the provinces he covered.  Because of his wisdom and purpose many went on to fulfill their purpose.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?

A Mentor is someone who shares their wisdom and process with you because they have traveled where you are going.  A Coach is someone who helps you draw out of yourself for purpose and gives you tools and strategy to reach your goals.  Both are gifted and you need to know what you need for your season.  A lot of times many people function as both.

RELEASE 

Don’t fall into the mindset that women can not get along.  Yes, some women have allowed themselves to be separated through envy, strife, jealousy, competition and low self worth.  This has left a gap in this beautiful relationship exchange.  There are MANY women who walk in a “higher place”.  It doesn’t have to be that way and “all” women don’t fall into that category.   Don’t be scared to reach out to those you know are suppose to speak into your life.

1.  SEEK OUT. Find like minded sisters who are walking in the direction you want to go.  Do they have a similar vision?  Are they active in what they do?  Are they passionate about helping others?  Do they have a system or process to help you reach your goals?

2.  CONNECT. Don’t be afraid to connect.  You need to be around other people of vision.  You must leave the “comfort zone” and step into the process of purpose.  If they are “true” mentors and coaches they are concerned and want to support your vision as you press towards destiny and purpose. Ask for referrals?  Talk to others who have connected with them.

3.  RELEVANT. Make sure they have relevant information for your purpose. This isn’t about finding a “friend”.  You need someone to help you move through the season you are in towards purpose.  They will help you miss mistakes and avoid pitfalls.

This only takes place when you are willing to let down your guard (with the right people) and avail yourself to Mentors & Coaches.