How to TRANSITION your Relationships

women of color

As we walk out personal growth for the VISION in our lives we must learn how to TRANSITION in our relationships.  Every friendship or mentor/mentee relationship is not meant to be forever and some relationships move in and out of season.  When you do not know how to TRANSITION in your relationships you tend to either walk away without explanation or over stay. 

TRANSITIONING is an important aspect of accomplishing personal growth for PURPOSE in your life.  When you TRANSITION you are saying that one level is complete and you are ready for the next step. Esther is a good example of TRANSITION.  She began her destiny walk with Mordecai.  He taught her about her heritage and faith.  He also led her towards her next level for her destiny. Mordecai was no longer her MAIN teacher once she got to the palace.  The Eunuch became her teacher regarding her “New Level”.  Her relationship with Mordecai TRANSITIONED and he became someone she could “consult” with concerning what he had “TAUGHT” her. 

In order for Esther to become Queen she needed different RELATIONSHIPS.  If she did not TRANSITION she would have been like the other women and became a concubine in the house of the King.  Her relationship with Mordecai wasn’t over, but it held another purpose.  When she needed consultation regarding that PURPOSE, he was able to speak into her life regarding her PURPOSE for being in the Kingdom. When you know PURPOSE you can TRANSITION well.  When you are unclear it is hard to know how to make plans and who is suppose to be in your life or help you carry them out.

923066_10201383012485931_1434707190_nIn order for you to grow in understanding of your personal growth, purpose and Identity, you are allowing me into your life to coach and mentor you.  Why?  because I have the wisdom and knowledge to teach and train you regarding the subject matter.  Esther needed to know HOW to be a Queen. She needed to understand what it meant to be the King’s wife along with all it’s RESPONSIBILITIES.  Mordecai could not teach her that information.  She had to allow the Eunuch to mentor her. He was the one knowledgeable of that subject matter.  You must put yourself in positions to grow into WHO God is calling you to be.  You must surround yourself with people who will help you reach that goal.  Otherwise, you will be stuck, desiring to move forward and not having what you need to do so.


1.  WHERE ARE YOU GOING.  In order to know who to learn from you need to know where you are going.  What is the PURPOSE?  Until you answer that question you will not walk in CLARITY and CONFIDENCE regarding HOW to get there.  You won’t know what direction to take and you will be apprehensive about your choices.

2.  WHO KNOWS WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.  God puts people in our lives when it is time to TRANSITION.  Again, without clear direction you will not see the door.  God ALWAYS sends people in our lives for our next level.  He will never leave you hanging.  EVERYONE needs a Coach and Mentor in their life to help them gain the knowledge that they need.  WHO is your Mentor or Coach?  WHO are the PEOPLE you need to surround yourself with at this season?  I didn’t say you couldn’t have friends.  I didn’t say don’t go to church. I said WHO do you need to surround yourself with in this season, so you can walk in PURPOSE.

3.  THERE WILL BE A DOORWhen it is time to TRANSITION there will be a door.  Don’t procrastinate.  You will have the words needed for the TRANSITION.  You can not be scared.  You also must be careful not to put other people BEFORE the PLANS of God in your life.  You can be trying so hard not to hurt people’s feelings, that you MISS your door and the people in place to speak to you regarding your next level.  Sometimes when you take too long you alter the timing. There could be another reason for that relationship and because you are scared, you are holding up your growth and purpose.  You could loose the door and the relationship you were trying so hard to keep.

4. DON’T just walk away without TRANSITIONING.I have seen a lot of people HIDE from the responsibility of TRANSITION.  Instead of talking to the people they are TRANSITIONING from, they just walk away without out speaking to them about it.  When you do this (you are saying with you actions) you are acting unsure and insecure about what you hear.  TRANSITION has BLESSINGS attached to it.  You can not receive the blessings without TRANSITIONING correctly.  In the attempt to AVOID the conversation… you end up loosing the relationship because you are unable (now) to talk to them because you didn’t handle the TRANSITION well.  When you TRANSITION you are STEPPING out in FAITH.  You are CLOSING one door and OPENING another.  You are saying to God I trust you.

5. YOUR FRIENDSHIPS MATTER Your casual relationships are important.  These people speak into your life when your guard is down.  They are the people you consult on a daily basis regarding life, relationships and circumstances.  If they do not line up with your “growth plans”  for purpose, you can be “led” away from it instead of towards it.  Don’t take your casual life relationships lightly.

It all begin with healing and releasing the past, so you can see clearly the path that purpose is calling you to take with your life. You must be open to PURPOSE so you will be clear on your direction and can lay the PLAN to reach the PURPOSE. TRANSITION well in your relationships, so you can move forward in INTEGRITY.


I TRANSITION well.  I  move forward in the plans and purposes for my life.  My you ears, eyes and understanding are open and available to truth and wisdom.  My steps are ordered.

Why do I need Personal Development?

Slide14Someone was asking me about what IN PURSUIT OF ME! Personal Development Program was all about.  I told her it was for women on the journey of self discovery and personal growth, who want to walk in their purpose and full potential by becoming their best selves.  These women desire to develop their unique individuality (authentic self) designed by God.  They understand that their uniqueness is designed to impact every area of their life and the different roles and responsibilities they walk out on a daily basis.  

She asked, “Why do I need personal development if I have faith?” I said, “Personal Development is a Journey.  It BEGINS with faith/belief, but then we must take responsibility to apply our faith/belief to become self aware, gain knowledge, grow and improve the skills necessary to fulfill purpose and BE our Best Selves.   Faith/beliefs under girds that journey. It is up to us to take responsibility and walk it out in our “daily lives”.  

I explained that Personal Development was “PURPOSEFUL PURSUIT of PERSONAL Slide16GROWTH for the fulfillment of Purpose”.  EACH OF US taking the personal responsibility for the “application” of faith/beliefs in our daily lives.  It is the “HOW TO” or the application of our beliefs for our development not just for spiritual growth and development but spirit, soul and body.  All must be actively working together in order for us to fulfill our purpose and reach our full potential.  So the purpose of personal development is taping into and DEVELOPING the “greatness” that God put on the inside of us, so we can accomplish all he has destined for our lives.  God “expects” us to invest, grow, develop, use and become our best” with what he has put in us so He is ultimately glorified in our lives.  Many understand and desire to accomplish what they are destined and purposed, but don’t know how.

Personal Development, Self Discovery, Personal Growth, Personal Achievement, Personal Success and Personal Improvement in the different areas of our lives doesn’t just happen.  It is a process that covers our mental, spiritual, social, character, behavioral, relational, physical, financial, and emotional selves.  When we understand that God told us to “choose life and live”, “treat our bodies as temples” or “renew our minds”, he was giving US the RESPONSIBILITY to “apply and develop” ourselves for purpose through the principles, wisdom, pillars, laws and knowledge set forth for us.  Many are taught that GOD will do everything for them, never realizing that there is a part they play in the equation.  As Miles Monroe states, “the graveyards are FULL of unrealized and untapped potential.”

God created us to be “response – able” to what he has put on the inside of us.  We CAN respond and he has made us able.  We DON’T have to be left searching for purpose and meaning in our lives.  We are able to live IN PURPOSE and BECOME our Best Selves, which is necessary to “release” the gifts, talents, abilities, destiny, purpose and full potential that resides on the inside.  Personal Development gives the “how to” in order to walk in purpose and release full potential. I told her, “Many are growing spiritually, but go unfulfilled and it doesn’t have to be that way.   So we all NEED Personal Development.

Personal Development is

1. Purposeful Pursuit: You are intentionally developing who you need to “become” to fulfill your purpose and develop your full potential

2. Personal Growth: You are developing yourself spirit, soul and body for the development of your full potential for Purpose.

3. Discovery: You discover your unique individuality, gifts, talents, abilities, potential

4. Expansion:  You become self aware, gain knowledge and develop your personal skills

5. Refining:  You learn your beliefs, values, responsibilities and truth and how this applies to your growth and purpose.

6. Holistic:  You are looking at every area of your life and developing yourself spiritually, socially, emotionally, mentally, physically, relationally, financially and applying it to the different roles and responsibilities you impact on a daily basis.

7. PURPOSE driven: It helps you discover and develop yourself for the fulfillment of your purpose and equips you to be successful at whatever endeavors you connect to in relationship to your purpose.

8. GOAL focused: You learn how to develop and reach your goals which leads to the fulfillment of purpose and potential.

9. Glorifying God: You are pursuing the development of what God has put in you from the foundations of the world.  You are honoring him by becoming your Best Self because it releases purpose and increase into your life