How to TRANSITION your Relationships

women of color

As we walk out personal growth for the VISION in our lives we must learn how to TRANSITION in our relationships.  Every friendship or mentor/mentee relationship is not meant to be forever and some relationships move in and out of season.  When you do not know how to TRANSITION in your relationships you tend to either walk away without explanation or over stay. 

TRANSITIONING is an important aspect of accomplishing personal growth for PURPOSE in your life.  When you TRANSITION you are saying that one level is complete and you are ready for the next step. Esther is a good example of TRANSITION.  She began her destiny walk with Mordecai.  He taught her about her heritage and faith.  He also led her towards her next level for her destiny. Mordecai was no longer her MAIN teacher once she got to the palace.  The Eunuch became her teacher regarding her “New Level”.  Her relationship with Mordecai TRANSITIONED and he became someone she could “consult” with concerning what he had “TAUGHT” her. 

In order for Esther to become Queen she needed different RELATIONSHIPS.  If she did not TRANSITION she would have been like the other women and became a concubine in the house of the King.  Her relationship with Mordecai wasn’t over, but it held another purpose.  When she needed consultation regarding that PURPOSE, he was able to speak into her life regarding her PURPOSE for being in the Kingdom. When you know PURPOSE you can TRANSITION well.  When you are unclear it is hard to know how to make plans and who is suppose to be in your life or help you carry them out.

923066_10201383012485931_1434707190_nIn order for you to grow in understanding of your personal growth, purpose and Identity, you are allowing me into your life to coach and mentor you.  Why?  because I have the wisdom and knowledge to teach and train you regarding the subject matter.  Esther needed to know HOW to be a Queen. She needed to understand what it meant to be the King’s wife along with all it’s RESPONSIBILITIES.  Mordecai could not teach her that information.  She had to allow the Eunuch to mentor her. He was the one knowledgeable of that subject matter.  You must put yourself in positions to grow into WHO God is calling you to be.  You must surround yourself with people who will help you reach that goal.  Otherwise, you will be stuck, desiring to move forward and not having what you need to do so.


1.  WHERE ARE YOU GOING.  In order to know who to learn from you need to know where you are going.  What is the PURPOSE?  Until you answer that question you will not walk in CLARITY and CONFIDENCE regarding HOW to get there.  You won’t know what direction to take and you will be apprehensive about your choices.

2.  WHO KNOWS WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW.  God puts people in our lives when it is time to TRANSITION.  Again, without clear direction you will not see the door.  God ALWAYS sends people in our lives for our next level.  He will never leave you hanging.  EVERYONE needs a Coach and Mentor in their life to help them gain the knowledge that they need.  WHO is your Mentor or Coach?  WHO are the PEOPLE you need to surround yourself with at this season?  I didn’t say you couldn’t have friends.  I didn’t say don’t go to church. I said WHO do you need to surround yourself with in this season, so you can walk in PURPOSE.

3.  THERE WILL BE A DOORWhen it is time to TRANSITION there will be a door.  Don’t procrastinate.  You will have the words needed for the TRANSITION.  You can not be scared.  You also must be careful not to put other people BEFORE the PLANS of God in your life.  You can be trying so hard not to hurt people’s feelings, that you MISS your door and the people in place to speak to you regarding your next level.  Sometimes when you take too long you alter the timing. There could be another reason for that relationship and because you are scared, you are holding up your growth and purpose.  You could loose the door and the relationship you were trying so hard to keep.

4. DON’T just walk away without TRANSITIONING.I have seen a lot of people HIDE from the responsibility of TRANSITION.  Instead of talking to the people they are TRANSITIONING from, they just walk away without out speaking to them about it.  When you do this (you are saying with you actions) you are acting unsure and insecure about what you hear.  TRANSITION has BLESSINGS attached to it.  You can not receive the blessings without TRANSITIONING correctly.  In the attempt to AVOID the conversation… you end up loosing the relationship because you are unable (now) to talk to them because you didn’t handle the TRANSITION well.  When you TRANSITION you are STEPPING out in FAITH.  You are CLOSING one door and OPENING another.  You are saying to God I trust you.

5. YOUR FRIENDSHIPS MATTER Your casual relationships are important.  These people speak into your life when your guard is down.  They are the people you consult on a daily basis regarding life, relationships and circumstances.  If they do not line up with your “growth plans”  for purpose, you can be “led” away from it instead of towards it.  Don’t take your casual life relationships lightly.

It all begin with healing and releasing the past, so you can see clearly the path that purpose is calling you to take with your life. You must be open to PURPOSE so you will be clear on your direction and can lay the PLAN to reach the PURPOSE. TRANSITION well in your relationships, so you can move forward in INTEGRITY.


I TRANSITION well.  I  move forward in the plans and purposes for my life.  My you ears, eyes and understanding are open and available to truth and wisdom.  My steps are ordered.

How to Deal with Conflict!

60691_525616094120949_1208944109_nYou must FIRST be settled in HOW you will deal with the situations you face in life.  You must be RESOLVED.  I love the word RESOLVED.  It mean that you are settled.  It also means that you have made up your mind HOW you will deal with the situations you face. You are not controlled by the actions of others or circumstances because you have made up your mind regarding the CORE ESSENCE of your PRINCIPLES which dictates your ACTIONS irregardless of circumstances.

You must make up your mind that people’s actions towards you will not cause you to act differently than you choose.  The word endure means to hold out; sustain without impairment or yielding; to bear without resistance. You literally must pull yourself out of the scenario. You must allow yourself to see the person’s actions as a manifestation of their belief system.  You are getting a glimpse into who they really are.  Their words, mannerisms, emotions and actions become a testimony to how they were shaped and molded to deal with circumstances in their life.

We all have been provoked, injured or troubled.  You need to make a choice, to stand your ground based on your truth.  Because we “do things God’s way” we understand that we are in control of ourselves.  You are making a stand.  The word tells us to stand anyhow.  To have ourselves girded with the truth of the word.


1. DON’T DO IT  Don’t allow yourself to yield your standards because someone has issues.  Whether you are in the car, the grocery store, school or neighborhood, allow the word to set your standard and don’t move out of your position of peace and confidence in God’s word.

2. VICTORY COMES IN DIFFERENT FORMS  Remember victory isn’t just about winning the argument or getting people to do what you want.  It is mainly about being obedient to truth and watching God honor his word in your life.

3. YOU ALWAYS WIN  Don’t be deceived into believing you have lost because someone cursed at you or gave you the finger.  Don’t act accordingly because you are more than that and represent something greater.

4. WE REPRESENT  Your victory is in honoring God with your life and he being seen through your actions.